i think my tv is drunk
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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