perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
