I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize