long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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