you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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