Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
