It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
