hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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