just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
