pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
