i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
