My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
