So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
