Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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