glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
