Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize