i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize