You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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