She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize