I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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