she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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