You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
