im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
