Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
