Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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