yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
