Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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