More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize