Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
