Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize