actually, I'm a sock model
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
