Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
