I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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