I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
