So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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