Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
