Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
