VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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