Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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