There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
