So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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