Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
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