I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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