Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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