We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
