He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
