Non-Jews are for practice
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
