i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
