Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
