Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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