Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
