I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize