You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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