What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
