Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
