$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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