There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
