Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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