Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
