we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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