I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I am one with the molecules
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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